I think that one of the most misunderstood concepts in the potentials in a power exchange is the difference between session-based and full-time domination. A scene, the commonly used term for session-based BDSM, generally focuses on physical activities. You know, bondage, spanking, CBT, etc. Roles are extreme; things you could never do full time. When the session is over, there is usually time for both participants to “come down” and return to their normal selves.
Enforced chastity, at least in the fantasies, appears very similar to other BDSM stories. The roles appear stereotypically dominant and submissive. With these fantasies dancing in their heads, guys order devices and convince their partners to embark on the chastity adventure.
It doesn’t take long to discover that after a short time, there is a lot more to enforced chastity than locking up a cock and making its owner beg for an orgasm. I’m not saying that it isn’t possible for people to play the waiting game forever. Some do. The biggest challenge to attempting this is that over time, guys learn to accept waiting for orgasms without much stress.
Over time we learn to accept waiting. We never lose the desire to ejaculate, but it becomes less and less painful to endure the wait. This drives some couples to keep extending the wait. The logical end to that process would be that the male would never get another orgasm. OK, then what?
Instead of thinking too much about the locked penis, we’ve focused more on the power controlling it represents. It’s not so much about how long I have to wait as it is about the fact that Mrs. Lion is my sole source of sexual pleasure. I can’t even get hard without her allowing it. We focus on that power rather than how long I have to wait to ejaculate. Many times she has me come sooner than I would choose. She makes it clear that it doesn’t matter when or if I want an orgasm. My penis belongs to her. It exists for her entertainment.
What’s particularly significant about this is that there are not artificial roles, no contests of waiting; just the clear fact that any sexual fun that I have is secondary to her desire to be entertained. That is very profound to me. Even though I can’t provide Mrs. Lion with sexual pleasure, I can give her sexual entertainment. For some reason she enjoys making me come. She likes the taste of semen.
For us, enforced chastity is a real power exchange. It’s one that we can continue for a lifetime. The chastity device assures that the penis Mrs. Lion enjoys is not used by anyone else. It’s the golf bag that holds her favorite club.